“We want to have control, but the reality is you have a goal, you set your mind to it, and then you just keep doing it every day.”
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Why Listen:
My guest today has done the seemingly impossible - he went from being medically discharged from the Army Rangers to consultant, director, and actor on CBS’ SEAL Team, amongst other impressive accomplishments. But what sets Tyler apart isn’t his incredible accomplishments- it’s his attitude. In this interview, Tyler talks about how we are all equally unprepared for our military transition - be it from medical injury or after 30 years of a career. He talks about giving up control, and putting in the effort even if it takes decades to achieve your dreams. He talks about networking, about what one wants to do versus what one NEEDS to do in life, about how Veteran is a status, not a job title, and more. Regardless of your interest in Hollywood, I guarantee there are multiple inspirational and motivational lessons for you in today’s interview.
About Tyler:
Tyler Grey is a producer, director, and actor on CBS’ SEAL Team. Tyler Grey is an Army veteran who served with the 75th Ranger Regiment, 2nd Battalion as a sniper in Afghanistan and a SMU (Special Missions Unit) in Iraq. He was medically retired in 2007 after he ran into explosives during a nighttime raid in Iraq. He's spent years working in Hollywood as a military advisor and consultant since getting out.
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Transcript & Time Stamps:
2:35
Joining me today in Los Angeles, California is Tyler Gray.
What was your transition out of the Army like?
In my personal experience, regardless of if you’re making the decision to get out or you’re being forced to medically retire, almost everybody is equally as unprepared to get out.
I was medically retired but that didn’t make me less prepared than someone who retired after 20 years. I feel like everyone. I feel like the transition is difficult for everyone. Everyone has that struggle.
We're all unprepared to transition because we don't know what we're transitioning to. I planned on making the Army my career. As a kid, I wanted to be in the military. I can send you 100 photos of myself as a little kid wearing airborne shirts and camouflage. When I got hurt, all I could think of in the hospital was getting back to work. What I slowly realized was that I would never get back to that again. It was very difficult for me was to accept that I would never be the way I was before I got injured. Much later on, I realized that that was OK.
And it took me time to accept my new reality and realize that it was something that I couldn't will away. When I did finally accept it, I made the decision to get out of the Army. It wasn’t forced on me. That was my decision. The reason I made that decision was because I joined the military to be on the ground, to be the guy in the fight. So when I realized that I couldn't do that job anymore, I made the decision to get out because my whole reason for being there was something I was physically no longer capable of.
10:00
I really admire your courage in making that decision. It must have been extremely difficult.
It was back in 2007 that I made the decision to get out of the Army. This is the height of Iraq. My doctors had told me that with five years of very intense physical therapy, there was a 20% chance that I could go back to my old job. I thought by the time five years would be over, we would be out of Iraq and Afghanistan. So I would do all that hard work and not even have my old job to go back to. So I made the decision to get out.
Now I look back and wonder if I had put in the work, could I have gone back to my old job. So even now, the decision isn’t completely clear.
14:00
How did you go from getting out of the military to doing what you’re doing now?
Getting out of the military is a loss. Many jobs out there are distinct from a person’s life. But I would make a strong argument that the military is not separate from your life. It is your life because it is it occupies so much of your time. It’s your identity. So when you get out, you have to completely reinvent yourself.
Veteran is not a job title anywhere in the civilian world. People won’t hire you just because you’re a veteran. You need to be able to offer a skillset. When I got out there were two things I was interested in - Hollywood and firefighting. But there really aren’t that many fires today so that ruled out being a firefighter.
So when I got out, I came to LA and started networking and trying to get jobs. I got some and I met more people and that cycle continued for a while. Because I knew what I wanted to do, I was able to reinvent myself in this new career path.
17:00
How did you go about that networking process?
This was back in 2008 when the war was still fairly new and there weren’t that many injured soldiers out there in corporate America. Because of that, I was kind of showcased and introduced to different people. At the time, I was still going through surgeries and rehab. So I ended up helping people out with their military scripts. I would help with different scripts that were set in Iraq or Afghanistan.
So to get back to your question, at that time, I didn't know how to network. I didn't know what my skill was or where I fit in. I let other people do that for me because I hadn’t figured it out yet. I was aware of the role of military advising on movie and television set. But I wasn’t sure if I was qualified for that or not. In hindsight, I should have pushed for that earlier. I should have been more sure of my potential.
21:30
What were some of your first jobs in Hollywood?
My first job was helping out with a show the Discovery Channel was doing on Pat Tillman’s death. I was in the same unit as Pat Tillman and knew him so the experience was kind of surreal. But quite frankly, I’m so happy they came to me for advice. I think I was able to offer them some really valuable insight. I made it as good as realistic as it could have been.
After that I did a lot of script consulting.
22:30
Did you have like an agent helping you?
I've never signed with an agent. All the jobs I've had, I’ve gotten myself. It’s a misconception that you need to have an agent. All the jobs I’ve gotten have been through people I knew.
People want to give you work when they’re confident in you and confident that you can do the job. That gives you opportunity. I've built solid relationships with people and that's what’s helped me along the way. I've tried to build friendships with people that I would work with or hang out with. And then once you're friends, you're going to want to work with your friends and that's been the secret to how I've gotten where I have in this industry.
25:00
What is the tempo of a job like?
When I first started, I was doing all movies. Films can be more sporadic. One time I got a called asking me to fly into the set of a move the next week and stay there for seven months.
For the first seven to eight years, I worked full-time and did Hollywood projects on the side. It took time to build up my experience. I always tell people - the amount of time you were in the military is the amount of time you’ll be behind everyone else when you get out. Especially in this career path, you need to have another source of income when you’re first starting out.
When I started out in Hollywood, I was also a bodyguard for many years. Plans take time to unfold. Name one plan that you've made in your life that's worked out according to the timeline that you had scheduled. It just doesn't happen. But if you have a goal you set your mind to, you have the power to reach that goal. You just don’t always have control over the timing.
All real and substantial goals take at least five years. I didn't know that back then and I thought I was making a lot of mistakes. But if I had quit early on, I wouldn’t have reached where I am today. You don't know what the timeline to success is so don't don't assign a timeline to it if it's something you really want to do.
The other thing you have to think about it whether you want to do something or you need to do something. Because somewhere along the way, ‘want’ isn’t going to be good enough to get there. You have to ‘need’ to accomplish you goals. Don't ever put a timeline to success on something that you need to do in your life because it'll never go away.
And when you accomplish your dreams, keep setting bigger and bigger goals for yourself.
You need to find what your purpose is in life. When you figure that our, things won’t be easy, but you’ll have a reason for going after certain things. Finding a new purpose after you get out of the military is vitally important.
33:00
After many years working in Hollywood, you eventually became a director and actor. What is that like?
As a kid, I was fascinated with telling stories. That's what Hollywood is - it's storytelling. Once I started working in this industry, I saw how Hollywood works. Every single job on a set has a role in how the story is told. I’ve experienced being an actor, director, and producer. All of those have a different role in telling the story.
As a kid, I dreamed of being a director. But then when I got the opportunity to be on camera and tell a story through acting, that was interesting too. I've learned a ton about directing by being on camera and working with such great actors. At the end of the day, I am ridiculously lucky to essentially be doing something similar to my old job except now I’m doing it on camera. It’s fake but it still feels kind of like therapy in a way because I'm portraying something similar to my old job.
The Army is still part of my life in a way that I would have never seen coming. I can kind of keep a toe in the water of that world while still being open to this completely new possibility. After I got out, I really missed the military. I tried to forget it but I failed miserably. So, this is really like therapy for me in the sense that I get to go back to parts of that life.
I’ve also been honored that young people will reach out to me and tell me that that shows I’ve worked one have inspired them to get into better shape or join the military. In a way, I feel like we’re making a realistic recruiting video. It does look cool. But there are costs to that life as well.
37:00
I love that you’ve been able to let go of control and let yourself shift into this new role in your life.
Letting go is absolutely critical because we don't control anything. In combat you don’t have the control that you want. Many times, you have to react to what is going on around you. But then when we get out, we suddenly think we should have control over everything in our life. At a certain point, you have to accept that you can only control so much. obviously.
At the time of my injury, it was the worst event in my life. But now I look back on it as a positive because it lead me to where I am now. You just don’t know how the future will turn out. We’re just along for the ride.
40:00
Do you have any resources you would recommend?
I don't have any formalized education - I didn't go into to acting classes. Over the years on set, I watch people who are far more experienced than me and see how they go about things. I learn from them and mimic them.
I never went to college. Not even when I got out, and it just wasn't for me. I'm the kind of person who learns by being in that environment.
41:00
Do you have any advice for veterans wanting to get started in Hollywood?
There's 1000 projects going on right now, probably about 20 of them are military themed. You have 50 advisors that have already been in Hollywood for years and are already connected. They’re fighting over those jobs. So your odds of getting in off the street are almost zero. And in the worst case or the best case is you'll get hired by one of them, and then you'll work underneath them and then you'll always be their guy or girl.
Adam Driver was a Marine before he went into acting. One thing I admired about him is that he didn’t use that as a crutch. If you want to be an actor, then act. The fact that you're a veteran is awesome, but that's not the job. ow that works. You don't know the logistics all these things So figure out what you want to do in the industry and then really work at learning that skill.
Being a veteran is a feather in your hat and that’s great but the only way you're going to be hired is to be by being good at your job.