“Purpose is an experience. Figure out what that is as soon as you can and then reevaluate everything in your life based on: does it support me doing this or not?”
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Why Listen:
Many of the guests I’ve had on the show talk about their struggle to find a new purpose after they leave the military. I struggled with that as well, but - spoiler alert - that doesn’t end when you leave the military. I’m 39 right now, I’ve been out of the Navy for over 10 years, and I’ve been working on this same question for the last several months. That’s what actually led me to today’s guest, Craig.
Craig and I met through John Wineland’s Emobdied Men’s Leadership Training - that’s the yearlong program I’ve talked about before on Beyond the Uniform. We were in the same small group of seven people, which meant we’ve spent hundreds of hours together this last year.
However, it wasn’t until recently that I discovered Craig’s superpower: helping people find their purpose. Today’s interview is different, because Craig and I have spent about four hours together over the last couple of weeks working on helping me clarify my purpose and current mission in life. We actually rolled right into this interview after an hour together of some pretty heavy duty work together.
I deeply believe in the importance of this process - of finding one’s purpose, of having clarity about what one is seeking in life. I believe in it for myself and for our audience. So, you can view today’s episode as part one of a much bigger offering. Craig and I will be hosting a 90-minute webinar about Purpose Mapping, where you’ll get a worksheet and make significant headway towards refining your purpose in life. If you sign up for our webinar - either to attend live, or to watch the recording after the fact - we’re also going to include a variety of videos from my own work on this. I’ll show you an honest look of what this process has looked like for me.
It hasn’t been easy, but honestly the weeks since Craig and I met have been incredible. There’s a lightness in being closer to identifying what my mission is right now - of being able to say “no” to things more easily and “yes” to things where I otherwise might be hesitant.
Be sure to signup for the webinar if you’re at all interested in this topic. There’ll be links in the show notes for this episode, as well as on the Events page of BeyondTheUniform.org if you’re listening to this in real-time, or in the “on-demand webinar” section of our website if you’re listening this in the far-distant future. Craig and I are collaborating on a lot more in this arena, and the best way to stay abreast of that journey as it unfolds is by registering for the webinar.
About Craig:
Craig is a a father, a depth coach and a highly attuned facilitator bringing over 20 years of experience in transformative men’s work, shadow work and authentic relating to the unique process for radically clarifying your purpose, making a powerful contribution and stepping into your flow.
Enriched by a decade of applied study in Ken Wilber’s Integral Philosophy, and a founding member of the Integral Center in Boulder, CO, Craig's work is informed by the factors that precipitate growth and development in human systems.
Craig’s 15 year entrepreneurial career has carried him from being an unemployable philosophy major with an unplanned child to building a company from 2 to 22 people and $1.5MM/yr in just under 3 years. Along the way, he churned through a dozen false starts because the businesses were not authentic for him. Walking away from that business was the final straw before taking a 9 month sabbatical to reflect on how he created the life he thought he wanted, only to find out he was miserable.
What emerged from that 9 month process is the summation of everything he's learned in 25 years of deep inner work and entrepreneurial experimentation, reading over 1000 books, and investing almost $300,000 in learning from the best and brightest. Purpose Mapping consolidates all that into a single, simple framework for making powerful decisions and getting into action towards making your greatest contribution every day.
He contributes 10% of his revenue to his scholarship fund for Ex-Military, Single Mothers & Adoptees seeking to heal and transform their lives.
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Partners:
Have you ever wondered how you could become a more effective and balanced leader? Or how to find a team with a high degree of trust that performs at a level you’re accustomed to? Check out The Leadership Podcast where they study what makes the best leaders tick - including many who have moved "beyond the uniform" to reach new levels of success and fulfillment.
Transcript & Time Stamps:
6:20
Joining me today from North Bay, California is Craig Filek. Craig is a father, a depth coach and a highly attuned facilitator bringing over 20 years of experience in transformative men’s work, shadow work and authentic relating to the unique process for radically clarifying your purpose, making a powerful contribution and stepping into your flow.
Enriched by a decade of applied study in Ken Wilber’s Integral Philosophy, and a founding member of the Integral Center in Boulder, CO, Craig's work is informed by the factors that precipitate growth and development in human systems.
Craig’s 15 year entrepreneurial career has carried him from being an unemployable philosophy major with an unplanned child to building a company from 2 to 22 people and $1.5MM/yr in just under 3 years. Along the way, he churned through a dozen false starts because the businesses were not authentic for him. Walking away from that business was the final straw before taking a 9 month sabbatical to reflect on how he created the life he thought he wanted, only to find out he was miserable.
What emerged from that 9 month process is the summation of everything he's learned in 25 years of deep inner work and entrepreneurial experimentation, reading over 1000 books, and investing almost $300,000 in learning from the best and brightest. Purpose Mapping consolidates all that into a single, simple framework for making powerful decisions and getting into action towards making your greatest contribution every day.
He contributes 10% of his revenue to his scholarship fund for ex-military, single mothers & adoptees seeking to heal and transform their lives.
Is there anything you’d like to add?
The words I would use to describe myself is ‘master of reinvention’. When David Bowie died, there was a meme of all the personas he had assumed. I really liked how he was able to keep reinventing himself. Doing that for myself has allowed me to help other people that are looking for a new direction in their lives.
I learn by failing forward. Once I understood that there was something to that, I went all in on it. I learned how to flip houses and make $30,000 in a weekend. But I was exhausted after that experience. It just wasn’t for me. I realized I didn’t want to devote my life to something that was financially profitable but wasn’t a passion. That not what we’re born for.
For me, I love to help other people who are facing crossroads in their life. I like to help them find purpose in their lives.
21:00
Is there a difference between purpose and mission?
People often conflate the two. I was a philosophy major in college. The first thing a philosopher does is define their terms. I define purpose as the reason you exist. Mission is a project or goal.
There was a Harvard Business Review article called “Crisis at the Summit”. The article talks about the pattern people go through when they take on a new challenge in life.
What I noticed with my clients was that if they were confused about the difference between purpose and mission, they can face difficult times when they achieve their goals in life. At that moment, they don’t know how to keep moving forward. But if you understand the definition of purpose, you can see that it’s never ending.
26:40
Can you talk about the purpose mapping framework?
There are three levels. The first level is existential - who am i? Why do I exist? That’s where all your power comes from.
Then there is the strategic level. This is like the transmission. At the strategic level, you’re thinking about actions you can take to bring you closer to your purpose.
Finally, there is the tactical level. This is the daily habits you create in terms of health, wealth, and love to carry out your purpose.
You need each of these pieces and levels to fully reach your purpose in life.
Once you have your purpose map in place, you will be able to make clear decisions in life based around whether those decisions will bring you closer or farther from your purpose.
36:20
Is there anything else you’d like to share about purpose mapping?
You have to have a purpose that drives you. It doesn’t matter what you label that or call that.
If you don’t get into a flow state on a regular basis, something is amiss. You probably aren’t fulfilling your purpose.
If you feel yourself grinding away at life without any real direction, that can be very scary. It’s important in that moment to be willing to take the risk to make a change in your life. You really have to dig into what is trapped inside of you.
Most people crave depth and authenticity. I’m able to help them get out of that rut and start heading toward finding more purpose in their life.
The three components of a transformational journey are a compass, a map, and a mentor. Those are all available to you if you want them.
56:50
What are the impacts you’ve seen through this kind of work?
I’ve traveled over 20,000 miles in the past seven months, reconnecting with former clients and talking to them about its long term impact. There were small things that have stuck with them over time.
1:03:25
Is there anything else you’d like to share?
Find what lights you up. Figure that out as soon as you can and then reevaluate everything in your life based on that.