“When they told me to sign Scotty’s retirement papers, I said ‘no’. I had a boundary and I wasn’t willing to compromise that. ”
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Why Listen
Two weeks ago, I interviewed Scottie Smiley for Episode 359. As soon as the interview was over, I emailed Scotty’s wife Tiffany to set up an interview. It was clear from Scotty’s story how big of a role she played in his recovery and success. Tiffany is an incredible woman and this interview is such a powerful reminder of how military spouses are often the unsung heroes in our country. I was moved to tears in our conversation and hope you appreciate Tiffany's story of strength, resilience, and optimism.
About Tiffany
Tiffany Smiley is currently CEO and Founder of Tiffany Smiley Consulting and President and Co-Founder of Hope Unseen, a highly successful public speaking firm. She has been featured on CBS News, CNN, C-SPAN, Dr. Phil, Fox News, and The Katie Couric Show as well as in major publications such as People Magazine, USA Today and the Wall Street Journal. Prior to that, Ms. Smiley served as a triage nurse and in other health professional roles. She is a graduate of Whitworth University where she received her Bachelor of Science in Nursing. Ms. Smiley has been a fierce advocate for American veterans, working with high-ranking politicians, lobbyists and the President to secure much-needed services. She runs her consultancy and other businesses from Pasco, WA, where she lives with her husband and three sons.
Our Sponsor:
This episode is sponsored by the Carlson School of Management. Whether you're transitioning to a civilian career or continuing military service, an MBA from Carlson at the University of Minnesota prepares you for a high-impact career in business. Carlson is committed to the veteran community and provides the benefits, experiential learning, and network to accelerate your career. In addition to a resident tuition waiver, all admitted full-time MBA military candidates receive generous scholarships and stipends to cover expenses that may not be eligible for the GI Bill.
E-mail mba@umn.edu to learn more. That's mba@umn.edu.
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Transcript & Time Stamps
3:00
Joining me today from Pasco, Washington is Tiffany Smiley. Is there anything you’d like to add that was left out of your biography?
Life is about relationships. I’ve tried to use my platform and what life has given me to make a positive impact on other people’s lives.
6:20
What do you remember from the time right after Scotty’s injury?
It’s hard being a military spouse. While they’re deployed, you’re at home just waiting. You have no idea what’s going on over there. You often don’t hear from them for long periods of time.
In 2005, I received a call at 3am. I was excited because I thought it was Scotty. But the person on the other end of the line was Scotty’s Commander. He told me that Scotty had been injured by a roadside bomb and was in very serious condition. I couldn’t go see or engage with him for four days.
A few days later, when Scotty arrived at Walter Reed, I went to go see him. It was a very difficult time. I’ve had to do a lot of work since then to work through the trauma of that time. When I saw him for the first time after his injury, he was blind and very seriously injured. On top of that, the military was pressuring me to sign retirement papers for Scotty.
13:50
Where did you and Scotty get the courage to continue on after that?
We were at rock bottom. All was lost. But I believe that those moments can be transforming. We made the choice that we were going to move forward.
Scotty 25 and I was 24. We had our whole lives ahead of us. I was determined to be a motivator for Scotty. I would never tell him that he couldn’t do something. I believed in the brightness of our future more than I believed in our doubts. We had tough moments, of course. But we made the choice that we were going to make it much more than just a hopeless situation.
16:55
What advice do you have for people that are going through difficult times in their life?
For me those months after Scotty’s injury was the first time I had been in such a difficult position. The only thing I can say is that you just can’t give up. You just have to pick yourself up and continue. You are going to fall down. It will be hard. I remember how difficult it was to be at Walter Reed. You were just surrounded by men and women that had suffered injuries that were going to affect them for the rest of their lives. Although I was so moved by all of them and wanted to help them, I had to create a boundary because I only had the emotional capacity at that time to focus on what Scotty needed. It’s essential to learn how to take care of yourself. As I’ve created boundaries for myself, I’ve been able to get better at helping other people.
There was so much uncertainty for us during that time. We just had to take tiny little steps forward. At Walter Reed, military officials asked me to sign Scotty’s retirement papers. But I wanted him to make that the decision for himself. I was intimidated by that moment but I told them that I wouldn’t sign the papers. To me that moment was one of those small steps forward.
23:05
What work are you doing now?
I started a motivational speaking business with Scotty. There’s so much opportunity out there and Scotty and I wanted to help inspire people to live their best lives. I had a front row seat to Scotty’s story and I knew it could be helpful to share that story with other people.
I had no idea how to build a speaking business. Eventually I also started a digital platform called More Than Me which empowers women to take control of their lives. Even now, while everyone is in quarantine, we are working to get our message out there.
28:30
Do you have any last words of advice for people?
Never, never quit. It’s often at our most difficult moments when an opportunity will present itself. I also tell people not to be afraid to reach out for help if you need it. People want to help you if they know what you need.
There’s always a solution. It might take help to get to that solution but there is a solution.