“Give yourself permission. Often we find ourselves, particularly in moments of transition, we don’t give ourselves time to reflect. In the military, we’ve had people give us direction. But when you leave, you don’t have someone doing that. So you have to give yourself permission to pause and reflect. Because then you will end up heading in the right direction. ”
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Why Listen:
Today’s interview was a real privilege for me. I saw Simon Sinek’s TED Talk years ago called, Start With Why, and it has had a major impact on my professional and personal life. If you have not seen this 20 minute video, you really owe it to yourself to check it out, as well as Simon’s book, Start With Why. My guest today is Simon’s right-hand man, and works with leaders throughout the world about helping them find and pursue their purpose. Many of the guests I’ve had on the show have talked about how difficult it is to find a new purpose after the military - this interview is exactly the help you need to set you on this path.
About Peter:
Peter Docker is part of the Start With Why team, where he helps individuals and organizations harness the power of “Why”. The result is extraordinary cultures and sustainable high performance. Peter is the co-author of Find Your Why, a practical guide on how to discover the Why for any individual, team or organization. He's also a guide of the online Why Discovery Course.
Peter's multifaceted career has included being an international negotiator, leading an aviation training and standards organization, teaching postgraduates at the UK’s Defense College and leading multibillion dollar international procurement projects.
Standing shoulder to shoulder with the Start With Why team since 2011, Peter works with organizations around the world to help them articulate their purpose, educate their leaders and to create cultures where each individual thrives.
Our Sponsor:
Simon Sinek's team offers an interactive online ‘Why Discovery Course’ that lasts between 7-10 hours. Normally, it costs $150, but its offered to active duty U.S. military and U.S. veterans for $25! For more info, check out Start With Why Salute to Service.
This episode is sponsored by Lockheed Martin. At Lockheed Martin, veterans are at the center of everything they do — in fact, one in five of their employees has served in uniform. Lockheed Martin is proud to help men and women like you successfully transition into civilian careers. Join Lockheed Martin and you will find opportunities to take on the same kind of long-term challenging assignments you tackled while in the military. Whether you’re on active duty, transitioning or already embarking on your civilian career, Lockheed Martin’s Military Connect is your online community for professional support. You can find out more at https://lockheedmartin.bravenew.com
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Selected Resources:
Simon Sinek's team offers an interactive online ‘Why Discovery Course’ that lasts between 7-10 hours. Normally, it costs $150, but its offered to active duty U.S. military and U.S. veterans for $25! For more info, check out Start With Why Salute to Service.
Transcript & Time Stamps:
3:30
Joining me today is Peter Docker. Peter Docker is part of the Start With Why team, where he helps individuals and organizations harness the power of Why. The result is extraordinary cultures and sustainable high performance. Peter is the co-author of Find Your Why, a practical guide on how to discover the Why for any individual, team or organization. He's also a guide of the online Why Discovery Course.
Peter's multifaceted career has included being an international negotiator, leading an aviation training and standards organization, teaching postgraduates at the UK’s Defense College and leading multibillion dollar international procurement projects.
Standing shoulder to shoulder with the Start With Why team since 2011, Peter works with organizations around the world to help them articulate their purpose, educate their leaders and to create cultures where each individual thrives.
4:40
How do you explain the work that you do?
We’re moving toward a world where everyone goes to work feeling inspired, returns home to a place where they feel safe, and end each day feeling fulfilled. I work shoulder to shoulder with Simon Sinek. We co-wrote the book Start With Why. We’re all about helping people implement skills to get more fulfillment out of their life. We share these ideas through writing, workshops, and partnerships with various organizations.
5:55
What lead you from the Royal Air Force into a job such as this one?
I spent 25 years in the Air Force and after that time, I felt that there was more I could do outside of the military. I joined a consultancy that had a lot to do with how people work together and take care of each other. I spent three years in places like Kazakhstan and the Middle East - high risk areas. The work we did was to introduce people to a new way of leading and take care of each other. It was during this time that I saw Simon’s TedTalk Start With Why. I thought that the talk put into words what I had always felt. Three months later, I resigned my position and went home for four months and wrote down all the things that I had learned throughout my life. During this time, I also reached out to Simon and we ended up meeting up in London. What characterized that meeting was that neither of us was there to get anything. We were there to share ideas and a common belief.
A few months later, Simon asked me to start speaking on his behalf and start taking his message around the world.
10:26
How would you describe the idea of “Start With Why”?
We start with what is called the golden circle. We believe that people and organizations operate on three levels - what we do, how we do it, and why we do it. What we do is the product or service. Then we have how we bring that to life - that’s what makes us different or special. But not many people talk about the why - which is why we get out of bed each day and do what we do. Inspired people and communications start with thinking about why they do what they do.
Simon put this into simple language that everyone could understand and remember.
12:43
Can you give some examples of companies that “Start With Why”?
Companies that are “Why” based -- companies like Apple. When Apple is at its best, the company is driven by the desire to make beautifully created products. We also have companies such as Lego - what they stand for is inspiring the world’s future builders.
I like to keep is simple. There only two things in this world - there is content and context. Content is the things that we do but context gives meaning to the content. It’s like a jigsaw puzzle - the content is the pieces of a puzzle. You need the picture on the box to give you the context of what you’re doing.
When we’re focused on a particular job in the military, we’re inspired to do that because of a higher purpose. It’s almost like a given. We get focused on delivering that through the “what”. But without understanding the context - the picture on the box - that “what” has no meaning.
I was a pilot in the military and a lot of my friends that were also pilots become commercial pilots after leaving the military. And a lot of them aren’t happy because although they’re doing the same job, the purpose has changed. They no longer feel like they’re in service of a higher cause. So when me make the transition out of the military, a lot of times we are focused on that “what” when we really need to focus more on the “why”.
Just to be clear, we each have a “why” and that doesn’t change throughout our life. What we do changes many times but the “why” stays the same. My “why” is to enable people to be extraordinary. When I was growing up, I grew up around people that had severe disabilities. I remember helping these people so that they were able to share their gifts with the community. So the times in my life when I’ve felt most empowered was when I was enabling people.
The “why” is helpful when looking for jobs that might be fulfilling to us. It can also bring fresh meaning to work that we’re currently doing. Your “why” isn’t something made up. It comes from your past and that’s what makes it authentic.
26:40
How can people make progress towards discovering what their “why” is?
The first thing you can do is sit down and think of stories from your past that are meaningful to you. Specific in terms of time, place, and people that were involved. The roots of the “why” is through the “what”. So ask yourself what is it about these stories from your past that makes it important to you. That will start enabling you to get to the “why”.
The second thing is called the Friends Exercise. When you have a quiet moment with a close friend, ask them ‘why are you friends with me’. Eventually they will start talking about how you make them feel. That will get at your ‘why’.
34:30
I love that idea of using your why as a way to carry you through your transition out of the military in an effective way.
Many people, when they leave the military, have mental health challenges. This can weigh heavily on you. The “why” gives you a way of getting out of that hole. A couple of years ago, I was feeling really depressed and I had a coaching call that afternoon. By the end of the call, I felt so much better because I was able to bring something to that other person and was able to activate my “why” in that way. So, I think this is really important because I think a lot of people leaving the military feel very isolated or lost. This gives you a path to follow when you’re feeling that way.
37:22
Is there anything else you’d like to share with our listeners?
Give yourself permission. Often we find ourselves, particularly in moments of transition, we don’t give ourselves time to reflect. In the military, we’ve had people give us direction. But when you leave, you don’t have someone doing that. So you have to give yourself permission to pause and reflect. Because this will allow you to end up heading in the right direction.
Sometimes we’re going so fast that we don’t take the time to think about what we’re doing. When we’re in the military we’re very focused on getting things done. That’s how we’re trained. Since leaving the military is the value of allowing things to happen. Instead of pushing things along - taking a step back and creating a space where others can step. Some of the most relationships in my life have come about when I’ve taken time to give the space and allow others to step in.