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Why Listen:

Today is a skill episode, where I meet with an expert to learn a skill that will help any military Veteran in their civilian career. Today, I talk with Kerry Meyer about emotional intelligence. And Kerri makes some incredible statements about how - if you are going to pick one skill to learn - emotional intelligence is HANDS DOWN the one to pick, with a clear and direct impact on your earning potential AND very clear ways to start to improve your EQ, no matter where it is today. Often on Beyond the Uniform, my guests talk about how military Veterans are perceived in interviews and in the workplace as being harsh, abrasive, and and un-empathetic. We talk about how to avoid those stereotypes and - just in case they’re true - improve in each of those areas.

If you like this episode, be sure to check out:

BTU #118 - Empathy & Non-violent communication (NVC)

You’ll find links to each of those episodes in the show notes for this episode at http://www.BeyondTheUniform.org, where you’ll also find over 300 other completely free episodes, a whole host of online events, webinars and more.

About Kerri:

Kerri Meyer is the CEO of Sync Learning. She has spent over 22 years in Corporate America, in Operations, Support and Learning & Development roles, including leading teams at Intuit, Symantec and Veritas Technologies, where she was most recently Director of Learning & Performance.

Our Sponsor: 

• StoryBox- People trust each other more than advertising. StoryBox provides the tools and supports businesses need to take the best things customers say about them, and use them to drive more sales and referrals. StoryBox offers a 10% discount to companies employing veterans of the US Armed Forces.

• Audible is offering one FREE audio book to Beyond the Uniform listeners. You can claim this offer here, and see a list of books recommended by my guests at BeyondTheUniform.io/books

Selected Resources: 

• Strengths finders

  • Value based assessment

  • 6Seconds.org - her go-to resource. Everything is free. A community of change makers contributing to a world of insight and purpose. Want one billion people to practice skills of emotional intelligence.

  • Emotional Intelligence 2.0- everything you need to know about EQ into a short book. Gives a code to get a self-asssesment and get a detailed report on your level of emotional intelligence. Goes step by step through how to increase EQ across your lowest score items.

Transcript & Time Stamps:

3:05

Joining me today from Reno, Nevada is Kerri Meyer. Kerri Meyer is the CEO of Sync Learning. She has spent over 22 years in corporate America working in operations, support and learning & development roles, including leading teams at Intuit, Symantec and Veritas Technologies, where she was most recently Director of Learning & Performance.

3:40

How do you describe what you do for a living?

What I tell people is that I drive change in organizations through leadership coaching, training, and process improvement. Generally speaking, when that happens, employee turnover is lower and productivity is higher. 

For me personally, my career goals have shifted over time. I think that’s true for a lot of people as well. Companies that are doing well recognize this and flex around the individual needs of their employees. 

As an employer, you want to create an environment in which your workers can thrive. That environment may be different from person to person. 

7:15

How do you recommend that a person discover what work style is best for them?

There are a variety of assessments that are available that can help you hone in on what jobs and careers may be a good fit for you. StrengthsFinder is one. 

I tell people to think about times in the past when they feel like they’ve done their best work. Think about the conditions of those moments. Try to find a work environment that will allow for those same conditions to exist. 

8:50

What is emotional intelligence?

I believe emotional intelligence is the ability to recognize your own emotions as well as those of others. An emotionally intelligent person will use this ability to manage various situations they find themselves in. 

EQ and IQ are often confused. IQ is more fixed than EQ. Anybody can increase their emotional intelligence and I think it’s really worth investing in doing so. 

There’s a study that shows that only 36% of people can accurately identify their emotions as they happen. That means that two-thirds of us are walking around unable to identify our emotions. 

I believe that your success at work and in life is directly tied to emotional intelligence. 90% of people that are high performers are also skilled at emotional intelligence. Studies have also shown that people with high emotional intelligence make more money. 

Commonly you’ll see emotional intelligence split into four areas. The first is self-awareness. The second is self-management. This is where I think a lot of people get tripped up. You may be aware that you feel a certain way but then don’t manage that emotion in an effective way. The third area is social awareness. This is your ability to pick up emotions in others. Finally the fourth area is relationship management. This is using your awareness of yourself and others to successfully navigate interactions. 

17:00

What can people do to build their emotional intelligence? 

When you have 30 seconds to a minute, focus your attention on the outside world by completing the sentence “I’m aware of…”. Then focus on your inside experience and complete the same sentence. Going back and forth between these two awarenesses will help build your vocabulary around emotional intelligence. 

Another thing I recommend is digging into resources that are available online or at the library. My go-to website is Six Seconds. The people running Six Seconds are working toward the goal of building emotional intelligence across all cultures and groups of people. You can also find various versions of the Emotion Wheel online. 

A book I recommend is Emotional Intelligence 2.0. The book is fantastic and you will also get a code to access an assessment to learn more about your own emotional intelligence. 

I also recommend taking an emotional intelligence course. They can be more expensive but are worthwhile.

Ultimately, you just really need to practice it. You’ll get better and better over time. I’ll also say that you shouldn’t be afraid to be vulnerable in personal interactions. Be open about the fact that you’re working on improving your emotional intelligence when you’re interacting with people that you know and trust. 

28:20

Members of the military can often be perceived as being very direct. How can they manage this?

I’ve gotten feedback in the past as being too aggressive or assertive. One thing I’ve tried to focus on over time is intent versus perception. You might have one intent but the perception of other people could be completely different. Open communication will allow you to be aware of what those misconceptions might be and how you can shift your intent. 

In an interview, think about times in the past when you’ve had to exercise your self-awareness to make effective decisions. Bring those stories into the interview. 

People often think they’re not good at emotional intelligence but you would be surprised how good you can get just by putting some work in. 

35:45

Is there anything else you’d like to share with listeners?

Emotional intelligence is worth investing in. Every area of your life will be positively impacted. I’ve seen relationships, marriages, and friendships made better by emotional intelligence. It can be challenging but at the end of the day, it’s worth it.